After your divorce you are likely going to be living on substantially less income, especially if you and your spouse both worked. The strain is going to be even greater on the custodial parent who will have to not only pay for housing and other expenses alone but also take care of the children as well. If the non-custodial parent has a good paying job and doesn’t attempt to pass blame on the other spouse, life is likely to be easier. If you can work out a mutual agreement for child support and spousal support until a final decision from the court, it will take the strain off of learning how to live on your own without a second income.
If your spouse handled paying the bills during your marriage, this is going to be a difficult transition. If you were a stay at home mom who must now return to work as a single mom, it will be even more difficult. If you sense your marriage is going to end, take that time beforehand to look for a job and get settled into it. Do not think because you have always been a stay at home mom that your husband is going to continue supporting you after the divorce even if it was his idea for you to stay home. He may assist for awhile until you get settled, but you will need to become self-supporting in the short-term.
One of the first things you want to do is get an estimate of your income after taxes. Once you know how much you have coming in you can estimate your expenses. You can include spousal support and child support if you and your spouse have discussed these issues and you know what will be forthcoming. For the non-custodial parent, you want to include these items as part of your outgoing income. Keep in mind that alimony is taxable income for the person being paid and a deduction from income from the person paying it, but child support is neither taxable for the recipient nor deductible for the person paying.
Once you have all of your income and expenses in order, you will be ready to assume life as a single spouse and/or parent. If you’ve been married for several years—or at least been with your spouse for some time—you may find the transition into single life difficult. You are used to having someone in the house, someone else to cook and clean for or someone to do your cooking and cleaning and now you must go it alone. You will also find the quiet unnerving at first even if there are children around to keep you occupied.
One of the first things you want to do is find a new circle of friends, ones that are single. That doesn’t mean you need to disassociate from those married friends, but if you want to get back into the world of dating, you need to find friends who are also single and looking to date. This is the final step, however, after you have everything else in order and are ready to begin your new single life.
